Silent Dances Read online

  Tesa had been born with only partially formed ears, due to "improper fetal

  development," a favorite catch-phrase of baffled physicians. She had no

  eardrums, and her semi circular canals were imperfect, giving her

  occasional balance problems. Both ear canals were sealed, and her ears

  were un

  usually small.

  8

  "I've got a film that will explain the technical aspects," Rob signed. "The doctor came to our attention because someone on a planet called Trinity had

  an accident that involved nerve damage. She was deafened but now her

  hearing has been restored."

  "Well, that's different than ...

  "I know," Rob interrupted her, "but I've talked to Dr. Volski. She says she can do it!" He felt frustrated in the face of Tesa's indifference. "Well, I'm excited about it!"

  Tesa's mouth twitched up on one side. "Sure, you are." As much as Tesa respected Rob's struggle to learn ASL, she felt that he would always define

  her by her deafness. She'd told him that he could only see her as someone

  who was missing something, instead of as someone with different abilities.

  He couldn't help it, Rob told himself. He was an M.D. as well as a

  psychologist. He believed in repairing things that didn't work.

  "Tesa," Rob signed, "you'll be able to hear. Can't you imagine what that will mean to you?"

  The young woman looked at the small cat curled in her lap, purring. Tesa

  touched Bast, then signed, "Can you hear that?" Startled, he nodded.

  "Well, I can, too, with my body, my eyes. Not less, Rob. Just different."

  "Come on, Tesa, that's semantics. You can't hear Mozart."

  She looked impatient. "Mozart! Hearing people are always throwing him up

  to us. Well, I have so heard Mozart, at Gallaudet, in a special auditorium. I

  heard him through the seats, the floors-I heard Mozart in my bones."

  "Okay. But you've never heard birds, or wolf calls ..."

  "True"--one corner of her mouth turned up--"but there are other ways to hear spirit songs. Ask Doctor Blanket."

  Technical y, "Doctor Blanket"--an alien who was a powerful telepath that

  looked like nothing more than a plush baby's blanket--couldn't hear either.

  But Tesa wasn't an Avernian, she was a human. "Aren't you even curious?"

  Rob asked, baffled by her attitude. "I can't believe you're this disinterested."

  She shrugged. "Would you become a telepath if you could?"

  "That's not the same issue. Besides, I can experience telepathy with Doctor

  Blanket. And I don't find being a nontelepath any less desirable than being a

  telepath."

  9

  "Same issue," she insisted. " I c an expe ri ence hearing through vibrations, and I don't find being Deaf any less desirable than being hearing.

  If I had this surgery, I'd have to completely redefine myself. Who would I be,

  with hearing?" She stroked the cat gently. "Dr. Rob, the elders of my tribe

  believe. I've been marked by the Wakan Tanka-the Great Mystery-for a

  special task. I was given a significant name."

  Tesa's full name was Ptesa' Wakandagi. Ptesa' meant "White Buffalo," but implied more, since the white buffalo was not only rare, but sacred. And

  Wakandagi indicated someone unique.

  "Growing up with that hanging over you," she continued, "is hard. When I was selected to come to StarBridge, everyone felt it was a sign for my nagi-my soul-to follow its path. It's not a good idea to fool around with your nagi."

  She looked tired. "And what would my friends at Gallaudet say?"

  The mention of the school reminded Rob of the conversation he'd had with

  Tesa's former adviser just the night before. "To you," the woman had signed,

  "deafness is a physical condition. Tesa sees it as a cultural one. "

  "Tesa," he argued, "you're light-years away from Gallaudet. You might never see those people again. "

  She looked at him curiously. "The same could be said of my family . I

  wouldn ' t stop being Indian . Of course, you'd never suggest that . But being Indi an is part of what makes me who I am ... my cultu re, my

  identity . Well, so is being Deaf."

  "That stubborn st re ak is going to get you in trouble someday," he signed grudgingly . He wondered if he w as giving in too e as ily , since he had a hidden agenda . " If that's the way you re ally feel , I'll push my hearing prejudices aside. But I'm glad you mentioned your family ,

  because this talk with me is just a warm -up. Your parents will be calling

  in less th an an hour."

  "My parents!" Tesa stood abruptly, dumping the cat off her lap. "You called my parents! Oh, shit!" In signing the expletive, she accidentally swept a disorderly pile of flimsies off the edge of Rob's desk.

  "I had to, Tesa..." Rob gave up signing while they grabbed at the dri fting forms slowly flutte ri ng to the floor.

  "I'm over eighteen, Dr. Rob," she signed abruptly, before snatching a wafting sheet in midair . " You should've as ked me first . If I c an 't explain this to you , how c an I make them

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  understand? They think it's their fault I'm deaf."

  Tesa's parents, both hearing, worked in space, building sta tions . When

  Tesa and her brother and sister were little, her parents had commuted from

  the living museum to Australia and worked Earthside. As the children grew,

  their grandpar ents, aunts, and uncles had filled in as the two engineers took

  on short jobs around Earth and the Moon. Now they were working on a

  station only two weeks' metaspace journey away from StarBridge, close

  enough to afford monthly calls.

  Even though doctors had tried to reassure them, Tesa's parents felt as

  though they must have been exposed to something. Her younger brother

  and sister were both hearing, and genetic screening had ruled out damaged

  chromosomes, but, Rob mused, it was the lot of parents to find themselves

  lacking. He thought of his own eleven-year-old daughter, Claire, the

  problems he had relating to her during their infrequent visits, and sighed.

  "I had to call them," Rob insisted, sitting on his heels on the floor, a sloppy mound of flimsies before him. "There's more going on than just the surgery,

  and your parents had to know."

  Tesa sat tailor fashion across from him. "What, more?" Rob nodded. "Have you heard of Trinity?"

  Tesa's eyes widened. She hadn't really paid attention the first time he'd

  spelled it, but every Terran at StarBridge had heard of it. "What about

  Trinity?" she asked, her eyes bright.

  "It was discovered by a Terran colonizing company Jamestown Founders,"

  Rob told her as they resumed their seats. "It's at an evolutionary stage

  similar to Terra's Pleis tocene-virgin wilderness, gi an t an imals , mammoth trees, rich mineral deposits, and even fossil fuels. A planet to make an

  investor's dreams come true . But there' s a snag . This world is inhabited by a species of intelligent avians we're calling the Grus."

  His intercom called his attention . "Excuse me, Tesa."

  "Rob," said Kkintha ch' aait , the school's Chhhh-kk-tu administrator. "Meg Tretiak is on line in my office."

  "Uh, Tesa's here."

  "Sorry, but this can't wait. Meg's got to catch a shuttle."

  "Be right there." He turned back to Tesa. "Wait here. please . We haven't finished our talk."

  11

  "But what about Trinity?" Tesa complained.

  "I've got films you can watch," Rob signed, going to his closet. Pushing a

  door aside, he rummaged through a box, finally pulling out two cassettes.

  "You know how to
operate the viewer. It's raw footage, no Intergalactic

  Geographic stuff. I'll be back shortly," he promised, and jogged out of the office.

  Tesa turned the unlabeled cassettes over in her hands as she entered the

  sequence to activate Rob's big wall holo. Could he be thinking of sending

  her to Trinity? Or was she jumping to conclusions because of her eagle

  dream last night? She always had eagle dreams before some big event-it

  was just her sub' conscious playing games with her.

  Movement near the open office door caught her eye. Her roommate, Jib,

  was waving to get her attention. Two years her j unior and no taller than

  Rob, the brown-skinned Maori had become Tesa's surrogate sibling.

  "Come on in," she signed, "it's okay." She should've known he'd be lurking around, dying to find out the news. He'd looked more upset than she had

  when she hadn't been tapped.

  "Tesa, what happened?" he signed, his doe-eyed, good-looking face full of

  concern. "Why weren't you tapped?"

  "Dr. Rob canceled it because of some medical breakthrough," she

  explained. She set the hologram for captioning and inserted a cassette.

  "Some doctor wants to give me he aring."

  Jib's big brown eyes opened wide. "Really? You'll hear? W ow!" He grabbed her in a jubilant hug. "You must be so thrilled!"

  She pushed him away, feeling as betrayed as if he'd slapped her. Dammit , I thought at least Jib would understand! "You're not glad," Jib stated, finally realizing. "I'm sorry, T esa, I should've realized how you'd feel, but ..." he hesitated. "Are you sure about this?"

  "Yes ..." she signed, but without her earlier strength of conviction. Jib was her brother, and even he didn't understand. M aybe I need to think this

  through more, Tesa thought, feeling her resolve wavering. What had been so

  clear to her just moments ago now seemed muddy and gray. She wished

  fiercely that she were back at Gallaudet where people understood her.

  Frowning, she popped one of the cassettes into the machine.

  12

  The holo-vid came to life, presenting a title , "A New Technique for Nerve

  Relay Reconstruction in Auditory Repair."

  "Damn!" she yelled, ripping the cassette from the slot and flinging it against the wall. It bounced off wildly, hitting her sharply on the forehead before Jib

  caught it. "Damn!" She

  rubbed her head, feeling choked with anger and confusion. "Hey, come on,

  Tesa, it's okay," Jib tried to soothe her. She scowled. He was probably afraid

  she would start hollering expletives , since cussing was the only thing Tesa

  had gotten out of speech therapy that she liked.

  "Don't do it if you don't want to," he continued hastily. "It doesn't matter what anybody thinks. It's your decision ..." Her eyes flashed , filling against her will. "Rob told my

  parents . They 'll be calling he re an y moment."

  Jib sagged. "Oh, shit ," he signed, making Tesa giggle in spite of herself .

  That helped her get a g ri p on her feelings.

  When Jib handed the cassette to her she waved it away. "I

  don't w an t that . Rob said there we re films of Trinity ... "That new pl an et they' ve discove re d ? How come?"

  "He got called away befo re he could tell me." She slipped in the second unmarked cassette. "But I've got a hunch that they want to send me there."

  "Before your pair project?" He looked skeptical.

  The holo flickered to life again. There were no preliminary titles, just an open

  panorama of undisturbed wetlands, hills and virgin forest awash in the

  brilliance of autumn shades.

  A small caption appeared. "No narrative," it read.

  Jib leaned over and raised the volume. "No sound, yet."

  Now, why should that be? Tesa wondered.

  Suddenly a group of white birds soared into view, flying in a slow, effortless

  manner . Are those the Grus? Tesa wondered.

  One by one they backwinged and, stretching their thin, black legs earthward,

  landed gently. Their long, white wings ended in black primary feathers, and

  they had elegant black head and facial markings. A small, brilliant red crown

  capped their skulls with a stunning shock of color. Round, golden eyes

  made them seem ever alert, and when, as a group, they threw back their

  heads and arched those graceful necks to call to the sky, goose bumps

  raced up and down Tesa's arms.

  "What does that sound like?" she asked Jib. He shrugged. "There's still no sound."

  Another scene shift showed a group gathered on a raised

  13

  platform of dried grass and reeds, white bodies against a jumble of reds and

  yellows and blazing orange. Sitting on their hocks like any Terran wading

  bird, they were making grooming motions with their long, black bills, while

  their wings, drawn in front of them, fluttered over something.

  There was an abrupt close-up of the wingtips, showing that the black

  primaries were not feathers at all, but elegant, tapered fingers moving in

  rhythm with their wings and bills.

  "They're weaving," Tesa signed. "They're plucking their down and feathers and weaving them with grass fibers into cloth."

  She reversed the film, then played it back, slower and enlarged. "Look"--

  Tesa pointed--"they're using sign language!" She looked for repetitive

  handshapes, the position of the hands to the body, and the use of the body

  itself. She had no idea what they were saying, but while weaving, they

  chatted.

  Abruptly the image dissolved into static. "Internal cassette error," the

  holographic caption read.

  "But that would mean these creatures are intelligent," Jib realized. "It'd mean that Earth's made a First Contact ..." His signs trailed off as Tesa smiled at him, her eyes glittering.

  "Is that why you think they want you?" he asked, skeptical. "'Cause you think these creatures use sign language?"

  "Oh, they're using it all right," Tesa assured him. "Dr. Rob said he had two films-maybe he pulled out that medical cassette by accident. I'm going to

  look for another one."

  Jib nodded, then ran the weaving scene again.

  Rob Gable's antique films were meticulously organized, but educational

  material was often casually tossed in an open box in his closet. Tesa

  rummaged through it for anything unlabeled.

  She found one, buried at the bottom. This has got to be it, she thought, and

  tossed it to Jib, bumping into the other closet door and causing it to open

  partially. As she reached to pull it Out, a glimmer of whiteness caught her

  eye. Among an assortment of Rob's classy suits , something shimmered.

  Just then Jib waved at her, and she turned her eyes back to the holovid.

  Another weaving scene began to unfold, this time with an elderly human

  woman kneeling beside the weavers.

  "Is she a midget?" Jib signed in surprise.

  No more than your people were to the Moa, Tesa thought. This was the first

  chance she'd had to see the avians in scale. The

  14

  Grus were huge, dwarfing the human woman. Suddenly the entire group,

  human included, stood, and one of the avians handed the old woman the

  result of their weaving. "They're at least ten feet tall!" she signed to Jib. What must their wingspan be like to get those bodies off the ground?

  "Can you give me that in meters?" the New Zealander asked.

  "See? They're using sign language!" Tesa looked smug. Jib nodded. "Why

  do you keep looking at that closet?" h
e finally asked. "Did Dr. Rob buy

  another old movie poster?"

  Tesa pushed the door open and let the light hit the white material that had

  been sparkling at her from the dark. As she'd suspected, it was a Grus

  weaving, identical to the one in the film. Gleaming with tiny shimmering

  rainbows as the light played over it, it seemed woven of gems. Feathers and

  grass, Tesa thought. This is made from feathers and grass? Tentatively she touched it, then examined the reverse.

  Jib joined her. "There's two of them," he signed, reaching into the closet. As soon as he touched it, he stiffened. "Oh, God, Tesa-tell me that's not what I

  think it is."

  Slowly the young man turned the fabric wrong side out, and Tesa ran her

  fingers lightly over it. The softly tanned leather of the Grus skin slid beneath her hand.

  They dropped the skin, and Jib hurriedly shut the door as they edged away

  from the ugly artifact. Staring again at the marsh people who continued to

  chat and weave and fly, Tesa wondered, Which of you lost your life to make

  that skin?

  "You must be wrong, Tesa," Jib signed. "Dr. Rob would never have the skin of an intelligent being in his closet!" But as the friends glanced back at the

  holo, the graceful beings interacting with each other put the lie to Jib's

  words.

  "I'm not wrong!" Tesa insisted. "They're signing!"

  Just then Rob touched them on their shoulders, making them both jump and

  gasp.

  "Didn't you hear him come in?" Tesa asked Jib peevishly. "He was quiet!"

  the boy retorted, clutching his chest.

  "I figured you'd be here," Rob signed to Jib, then looked at the holo. "So, Tesa, what do you think of Trinity?"

  Tesa smiled weakly, watching the scene. An impossibly tall avian walked

  beside a small human woman and Tesa ached to walk in her place. Tonight,

  instead of eagles, she'd dream of beautiful white-winged people and feel

  herself run ac ro ss rust

  15

  colored grass to lift off into the sky with them. She w an ted to lea rn

  their signs , as she had lea rn ed the signs of the Ashu, and live with a people who could share with her a common language.

  But ... what about that ... that thing in Rob' s closet? Jib was gaping , waiting for her to ask Rob about it.

  Her mind suddenly envisioned the edge of a bronze wingtip, a background